Thursday, July 29, 2010

I have to rant.

But I don't know who I will turn to.

Sometimes I think I have this alter ego, or a persona that exudes happiness, contentment, all the good things in life. On the other hand, there's this lost person who doesn't know what she wants. Confused, bitter and lonely. But because she believes that life shouldn't be like this, she'd rather be the happy and sunshine-y person most people perceive me to be.

I really want to be a happy person. I believe God created me to reflect His love to others. A testimony of His goodness. But I just can't help but feel sad sometimes. As in extremely sad. I don't want to think of my happy disposition as a forefront only. I want it to be my persona. I want to be happier.

Living a mediocre life is bullshit.

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