To you, (one of) the vaguest people in my life.

I have this friend. He is such a weird weird friend. Our friendship had a very awkward start. Nagsimula ang lahat sa isang text. Akala ko ginagago niya lang ako so I put up this I'm-a-snob-don't-talk-to-me front. Turns out, okay naman pala siyang kasama.

He's been one of those na sobrang present sa life ko for the past two years. When I'm emo, I usually talk to him kasi alam kong gagawin niyang joke time ang lahat ng sasabihin ko sa kanya and I'd instantly forget kung bakit nga ba ako emo.:))

Sometimes, I'm like his sister. I'm happy that he confides to me, kahit na madalas parang ang immature lang ng lahat-lahat. I've seen him in many phases of his life, the highs and the lows, believe me. I've seen him all kilig and in love. I've also seen him depressed and very very drunk. Not a pretty situation, I tell you. Hahaha.

I don't know why we are friends. Sobrang opposites kasi personalities namin. Maybe it's because of the rare little things that we have in common like taste in music, paghahanap ng randomness sa buhay, at pagiging OA sa maraming bagay. Or maybe it's because we can talk to each other and just be stupid and have a great time.

There was this one time, I was BV at a beach outing. Nagseselos kasi ako ng bonggang-bongga that time dahil kausap nung other close friend na gusto ko yung bagong pinopormahan niya. Hahahaha. So I texted him out of BVness. Nakakatuwa lang kasi tinolerate niya talaga yung BVness, girlyness and partially-drunken state ko at that time even if I knew I was disturbing him while playing (some PC game).

Nakakairita siya minsan. Some people ask me how I tolerate him. But I guess, sometimes we don't have to ask those kind of questions. Ayos naman kami eh. Most importantly, alam kong lagi lang siyang andiyan even just to say hello and to ask me how I am. During those times na feeling ko nakalimutan na ako ng lahat ng tao, bigla na lang magpapop-out yung name niya sa FB chat. Awesome diba?:)

And they say that a guy and a girl can never be just friends. Then, what do you call this? Hahahaha.

Oh, btw I don't know why I'm blogging about thissssss. LOL

Bigla ko lang naappreciate friendship namin siguro. Hahahaha.

3 + 1 = 4

Ngayon ko lang narealize na andami ko palang online accounts?

Obviously, I have this blogspot account. I think I've had this blog for almost five years now.:) Oh diba? Pero syempre, nagkaroon ako ng maraming hiatus. I have my tamad days din naman. This blog has always been personal. Some of my dirty little secrets are here. Open notes. Rants. Kilig moments. Sometimes I ask myself why I bother posting these things when they're supposed to be secrets or private or something like that. Siguro, there's a part in me that's wishing na sana mabasa siya ng certain people in my life. Haha. Alam mo yung ganung feeling? Yung sana, bigla lang nilang maintindihan yung nararamdaman mo lalo na't nabasa nila yung blog mo.:))

I've never really promoted this blog. Siguro once or twice lang sa Twitter. Well, nakapost siya sa Facebook, but I don't think people would even bother looking at my info page right? Hahaha. So sometimes, I'm surprised when people mention to me na nababasa nila ang blog na ito.

But I also have my tumblr account. It's mostly composed of reblogs of weird, cool, hipster stuff. Fashion. Food. Quotes. Videos. Not as personal as this blogspot account. Parang pa-vague lang, pahapyaw sa mga emotion things. Hehehe. Interested? Check out bbbianca.tumblr.com na lang. LOL

I also have a photo blog. Oh yes, meron din! Haha. Wala lang, tinry ko lang for the sake of trying. I think there's less than 10 pictures in that blog, pero siya yung latest in the list.:)) Nainspire akong gumawa ng photo blog because of my new nameless camera, a Canon G12. Hihi. Nameless pa rin eh. It's so awesome and so flexible and it takes pretty pictures!:) Anyway, it's 1000abcs.tumblr.com if you want to visit it.

Then I also have my Twitter account. Lately, it has been my most active account. I have this tendency to be pa-vague about things. Ewan ko ba kung pa-celebrity effect lang ito, basta, hindi masyado ako nagpopost ng details sa Twitter. Mga vague one-liners, descriptions, emotions, yun lang. Minsan nga, I forget na may mga nagfafollow pala sa akin. May audience pala ang Twitter.

Well, I guess yun naman talaga ang sakit ko. I forget na may audience factor, whether isa lang yan o sampu. Madalas feeling ko, sarili ko lang kausap ko. Or minsan, nagpaparinig lang ako kaya ako nagpopost ng mga ganung updates sa iba't ibang accounts.

Ano kaya ang katotohanan? Bakit nga kaya ako nagbobother sa mga ganito?

Oh well, at least a part of me's satisfied whenever I click that "Publish Post/Tweet/Upload" button.

P.S. Dali, follow mo na ako. Chossss.
P.P.S. Naghahanap lang pala ng following riiiiight? Hahahahahaha.

Re-start.

It's been a while since my last blog update.

Kanina sa jeep, I contemplated on the nth time whether I should finally delete this blog since it's not serving its purpose naman. But of course, I decided not to.

This blog has been a vent, a rant place, a medium to channel my feelings, a word vomit bin, whatever I wanted it to be. It has been through so many phases of my life.

And now that I am back in a comfortable place, I'd like my blog to be part of my life again.

If by any chance, somebody might stumble into this post, I'm sorry. I guess I have never really taken into consideration that somebody might be reading my posts. It's more like me talking to myself. Rationalizing. Thinking. Organizing my thoughts. Get the picture?

So before this throbbing pain in my head worsens, I'll go ahead with a grin, because I shall return. With more updates, more personal stories probably in the coming days.

Good night :)

It's the end where I begin.

Hi. It's 12:10am and I am still awake. I planned on sleeping early since I had nothing to do, but still, I found myself online. Just browsing through various web pages. Opening and closing tabs. Re-opening and re-closing tabs.

I'm not feeling so well. My voice is really really bad. I have a mild headache and a stuffy nose. Sorry if that's too much information for you. Oh well.

But I'm happy. I really am. I'm happy with the way things are going on in my life right now. I have a nice job. I'm living comfortably. I've reconnected with friends. Life can't be happier for me. Well, it could be happier pala if I'd be able to find my own place.

While walking with Kem this afternoon, I realized how different and light I was feeling now compared to a year ago. A year ago, I was crying. I was regretful. I was ranty. I was super sensitive. I was awkward. I was in a bad state. Now, everything's blissful. Like what I've told Bolle, I'm back to my sunshine-y persona.:) Good vibes all the way na lang!

So far, the adjustment process has been pretty easy. I think heavy ang expectations, but we have to deliver. Kelangan intelligent. Kelangan tatak UP.

Pero honeymoon stage pa kasi eh. Everyone's just ecstatic with our presence there. Well, sana ma-sustain itong level na ito.

Hay. God is so good to me. I feel so blessed. Lovelife na lang kulang--not. BWAHAHA.

Tulad nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, kaniya-kaniyang timing lang 'yan.

Toodles :)

I think I shall not think.

I don't want to post a song from a band that I hate.

So no song challenge for today. HAHA. Moody pala 'no?:))

Today was nice. I got my postal ID today. I wrote "employee" as my occupation for the first time. Haha.

I thought that it was going to be a stressful day since I didn't do my DZUP homework over the weekend. Turned out to be an awesome day instead.:)

Fun chikahan with the RC apps at TalaTugtugan. Usapang crush eh. Parang naka-relate yata lahat. Hahaha. Biruin mo 'yon, kahit ako, nakarelate? LOL

I still have to do my Health Matters script pero sobrang tinatamad ako ngayon. Lagot tayo diyan. Hehe.

I'm getting weird signals from a certain person. Di ko alam kung papansin lang talaga siya or gusto niya talagang mapansin ko siya. Oh well papel.

My good friends have been quiet for quite a while now. I wonder what's up with them.

A Myanmar student died last week. Naisip ko lang bigla, what will happen when I die? I mean, anong magiging reaksyon ng friends ko? Sinong magiging NR lang? I have my guesses na. HAHA. Isa pang, oh well papel.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just floating around. May impact kaya mga ginagawa ko?