It's funny because now I can see how I (as well as the state of mind) have changed in a year's time. I was really unstable a year ago. Konting trigger of sadness lang, breakdown na ako agad. I'm happy that it's not like that anymore.
Sa wakas, natapos din ang hangover ko sa kanya. And I thought it would never end! And tagal-tagal kasi eh bago ko na-reach yung peace of mind/heart na hinahanap ko. Yun nga lang, may iba na namang gumugulo sa isipan (at puso?) ko ngayon. Gumugulo talaga riiiight. Eh kasi naman, ang labo lang talaga. Di ko siya maintindihan. And ngayon, parang intentional pa yung hindi niya pagpansin sakin. Oh well papel. Let it be.
I hope that I have grown wiser over the past year. While backreading, I felt like I was reading someone else's thoughts. I swear, a zombie took over my body! A lovestruck zombie who didn't know what else to do. Hahahaha. Parang ang bipolar ko lang talaga. Rants all over the place. Open letters--as if they reach their intended recipients. HOHO. Retrospective thoughts.
Maybe one day I'll delete all the embarrassing and desperate posts. But I'll keep them for now. It's a bittersweet reminder of how I am being molded as a person. Sobrang pathetic talaga nung ibang sinasabi ko na nakakahiya pag nabasa ng mga taong hindi ko ever ieexpect na babasahin ang blog ko. Hahaha.
But as I have always said, this is my very personal space online. I made it public because for me there's satisfaction in publishing my feelings out in the open without letting too many people (except for the ones really interested) know about them. Siguro, may thrill na din yung secretly winiwish kong mas maiintindihan ako ng mga tao dahil nababasa na nila yung personal thoughts ko.:)
Malapit na mag-isang taon ang blog na ito. It's been there in so many phases of my life. Who knows, maybe when I'm older, I'll look back at these cheesy blogposts and laugh out loud.
And I just can't wait for that moment to happen!:)
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