#icanttrustyouif

I was browsing over my friends' tweets when I saw that hashtag/trending topic. I wanted to answer it, but surprisingly, I can't think of any continuation to that statement.

For me, trust is something that comes with security. You give it to a person because you know can depend on that person. Well, I think I have a huge issue with insecurity, that's why I don't trust people easily. Yes, I'm easy-going, easy to befriend, but there are several walls that you need to penetrate in order to gain my trust.

I hold back a lot of things. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Well, I don't have a lot of issues naman. I just don't think na relevant sa ibang tao ang pagshishare ko ng buhay ko. Unless na close tayo. Haha.

Nako, naging issue ko rin 'to sa heart department, lalo na sa mga "it's complicated" situations. Kaya nauudlot eh.:)) Ang moda ko kasi pagdating sa mga bagay na ganyan, if you don't give me something to hold on to--like a promise, a clear statement, or whatever-- just to make me feel more secure, eh malamang sa malamang, I would really slip away and think that everything is just temporary. A phase. And knowing me, I'm not after the temporary things in life.

Sabi nga ni Gen, I need something more constant. Something permanent. Like a permanent marker. Charot.

Examining myself more closely now, I think I put my trust only on a selected few. So kung napagkukwentuhan kita ng rants, ng personal issues, heart-related dilemmas and the like, malamang kasama ka sa selected few na yun! Dahil easy to befriend nga ako, malaki talaga ang group of friends ko. Pero alam ko kung sino lang dun yung talagang kilala ako.

I've never been drunk because I've never had a drinking sesh with a group of friends na I'd completely trust with my unstable self. Haha. Takot pala ako right? Actually, mas takot ako sa kung anong pwede kong gawin or sabihin. I have too many secrets to risk. HOHO.

Kaladkarin ako pero I have my security checks. Sinong kasama ko. Paano ako makakauwi. Anong oras na ako makakauwi. Dumadaan ba taxi dun. Ganyan. Mga questions na kinoconsider ko before ako nagpapakaladkad.:)

TRUST. What a word. What a heavy, heavy word.

Well, it's something I have to work on for sure.

--RANDOM KWENTO.

Back in high school when I ran for the student council, there was a nuisance party organized by my guy batchmates called T.R.U.S.T. Tantalizing and Respectful Union of Student Thespians. HAHAHA. They had projects like the installment of an elevator sa high school main building. Basta the outrageous ones. Patok na patok.

Raise your pinkies to the air! Ayos.

Sa tingin ko, if di sila na-declare na nuisance party, baka nanalo pa sila.:))

ANG RANDOM KO LANG 'NO? HAHA. K. Whatever.

Trust. Trust. Trust.

I can't trust you if you don't prove yourself to me.

I can't trust you if you give me reasons not to (whether intentionally or unintentionally).

I can't trust you if you give me weak answers.

I can't trust you if you are undecided.

I can't trust you if you don't trust yourself.

I can't trust you if you don't want me to.

But if you think you want or deserve my trust, go ahead. Try. Who knows, maybe I'd give it to you easily this time around.

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