dear diary...

i just wanted to share an entry in my private diary...

June 12, 2006

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! (108th na by the way)...:)
As i was reading my past entries, two words came up in my mind: 2nd best. i've realized na i've always been one of the best, di nga lang super, first or top. How i long to feel to be the best among the rest. kaya nga masaya ako pagnagtatop ako sa klase... ibig sabihin, narecognize ang talino ko. tomorrow, pasukan... And this year, i want it to be different.

1. Be better. not only sa studies (pero definitely) kundi in everything. i hope na yung experiences ko for the past three years, may lesson learned and to be applied. i want to graduate on top...GOAL->valedictorian. Pero kung di nila makita, "their loss!" wahaha...

2. Be independent. dapat i know how to do things on my own. Eat alone, mag-CR alone, etc. Hindi habang buhay may tao dyan na sasama sa akin right???

3. Be more thrifty...hay naku! self-explanatory.

4. Be myself.

I've thought about this a lot of times na. maybe i'm hiding beneath some identity. maybe kaya hindi ako napapansin kasi, i don't stand out. hindi nakikita yung natural na ako. i always want to be seen perfect, without flaws, higher than anyone else, etc na people tend to fell na natataasan sila sa akin (hard-to-reach ang drama...OMG!). it's nice to laugh at you own mistakes, admit weaknesses and faults, be embarassed from time to time, cry at the right moment. i want to make an impact this school year. kahit siguro na di ko mareach yung dream ko, i'll be happy enough to know na nakaron ako ng impact sa buhay ng mga kaklase ko. Na malimutan man nila ang kanilang mga pinag-aralan, di nila malilimutan ako bilang kaibigan, karamay, sandalan...:)

How i wish na maging best school year ko ito since last year of high school na ito. bilis ng panahon...

i pray na God's will be done, that He prepares the path in my life as a student that He wants me to take. help me to be more honest to myself. to let my true colors shine and show the real me. i pray that others will see a role model in me and sooner or late, maaappreciate nila yung effort ko to be the best person i can ever be. i pray that God will bless my year ahead.

p.s. pasukan na tomorrow...

i'd like to think that i've reached my goals. well, maybe not all of them but most of them.Ü

And how i thank God for listening to my prayers. most of them came true, by the way...

God bless us all!Ü